we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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