I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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