I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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