soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
