At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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