Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
