Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
