Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
