Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Don't make out with my wife yet
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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