I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
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It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
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Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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