New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Randomize