in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
why do cheetos always look like penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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