You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
