he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
