I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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