Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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