what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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