i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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