We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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