Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
