and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
