so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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