I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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