I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Randomize
