Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"