Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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