I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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