please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize