Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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