I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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