In the future we'll all be gay
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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