Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
