Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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