I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
