Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
