it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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