he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
