I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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