Welp...herpes.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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