honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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