Taylor Swift is so right about you.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
