I hate all girls vehemently.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
