Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
She bit a glass in half.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
