First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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