I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
