Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I cockslap morals
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
