Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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