We're like a lot better than the average bears
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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