my shit smells like andre
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
