Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
