i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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