I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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