Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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