redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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