Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
