I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
