THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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