she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
love makes seman taste better
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
