my soul wont recognize me after tonight
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
