so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
