my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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