Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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