Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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