Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
