sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
